Perception. Reality?

Every Thursday, I meet with a group of ladies at a local church. Everyone has such different personalities and bring a variety of talents to the table. It is a time to learn, grow, relax, and occasionally vent. One issue that keeps coming up in our group, is how we often compare our insides, to everyone else's outsides.
I think social media has totally aided in this terrible habit, we sometimes do, without thinking. As much as I love keeping up with my friends on Facebook, I can't help but sometimes compare what I am doing, to what they appear to be doing. It seems like so many moms have their act together. Their kids are always dressed so nicely, doing crafts that never seem to get messy, and have their house so nicely decorated, with everything in it's place. In their pictures, they seem to have finished a daily workout, showered, and put on makeup. In the background, there is no sign of clutter in their home...and to top it off, their dog is nicely sitting on it's bed, content with chewing on a bone. I am sure their organic, preservative free dinner is already made...and it's only 10am.
 As I take all this in, I can't help but feel insecure. Am I doing this stay at home mom thing, right? I do my best to send my 3 year old to school, wearing cute clothes and combed hair. I understand the importance of him looking good, feeling good, and being able to hold his head high as he enters his little classroom. Hopefully, this day, he matches, and has a semi healthy lunch packed. But honestly, my pictures on Facebook show a different story. A story that goes like this. My kids are wearing hand me downs that are covered in oatmeal, because I let them feed themselves. On the occasion they miss their mouth, Summer the dog is more than happy to help with clean up. Sometimes she even aids in cleaning their hands for them. Laundry is everywhere, because my washer and dryer is in the kitchen. Some of the clean clothes are folded, the others were folded, then taken out by my 1 year old that thought it would be fun to take them out, and throw them back in with one of his new found sound effects. I certainly haven't showered OR put on makeup. I am lucky to do that at a stoplight on the way to preschool. As I back out of the driveway, I notice my yard, full of leaves, although the trash men just took away 6 trash bags full of leaves from last week. My car is a WRECK. Why? I have extra juice boxes, diapers, wipes, jackets, toys, and hand sanitizer. I also have multiple crafts that came home from preschool, laying in my front seat. They've yet to make it into the house, nicely put away in their proper location. Did I mention that it's December, and my house isn't decorated for Christmas as well as others'. You can forget about getting organized enough to send out a Christmas card. There is a lot to feel insecure about, as I look at pictures. However, the other day, I was thinking....I DO have some victories as a stay at home mom.
For example, my kids may be at the kitchen table with bed head, but my 1 year old is the 1st one to fold his hands for the blessing. My son lost his toy Goofy and told me, "I can call God and Jesus, and they will help me find him." My son asks me each morning if I will snuggle with him. My other son gives me huge, wide open mouth kisses almost every time I ask.
I also have victories that aren't so easy to blog about. For example, the other night, my son was acting TERRIBLE. In the moment, I was angry, but took a second away from him, and realized he was just exhausted. He didn't need to be punished, he needed sleep. So, instead of taking toys away or spanking him, I just laid down as he was sobbing. I told him he was such a good boy, and that I was going to lay with him for a few mins. He was asleep shortly after. I came to bed, thanking God he gave me the discernment to not act out some of the thoughts I had, but instead, to offer grace in that moment. Maybe my victories as a mom aren't ones you can photograph and post on Facebook. Maybe I'm doing a decent job, even if my kid's clothes aren't new and their hair isn't perfect. In fact, perhaps I am giving them security in the fact that they are loved, even if they aren't perfect. I hope so. I hope they are learning to be confident in the love they have in me, Chris, and ultimately, Christ. I hope they are learning not to judge others by what they look like, what abilities/disabilities they have, or what house they live in. As I am convicted of comparing my insides to other people's outsides, I think of these 2 scriptures and hope that I am modeling values that will result in eternal glory.
Samuel 16:7   
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Painting with cars

If you know my boys, you know they love cars. They love trucks and anything that goes. However, they aren't big on paint, coloring, or anything like that. So, to incorporate both, I thought it would be fun to dip wheels in paint, and roll them around on paper. This was easy and fun. The clean up was easy too. This was my kind of project. This winter, I will probably do this again. Next time, I will tape large sheets of paper down on the floor, and do a much larger version of this. Give it a try with your kids.

Just tape down paper on a table, let them pick out different cars, and put paint on paper plates.

Here we reinforce red and yellow makes orange. We have gone over this a million times since Halloween.

 

Final product.

A Missed Opportunity

This past Sunday, my church started a series called, "Justice." It is a 5 week series covering world issues that we (us living in the US) tend to ignore. Sunday afternoon, I sat with a group of friends, discussing the 1st week's sermon on orphan care. You could tell that everyone, at some point in the discussion, was overwhelmed by the problem....and also overwhelmed with how to reach out and help. I was also overwhelmed. However, I started to think, 'what if I just took the opportunities that came my way to make a difference. Not just with orphans, but with everyone.'

Suddenly, my thoughts went back to 2 weeks ago. My husband and I had been invited to go to the South Carolina v Tennessee football game at USC. The people that invited us, got us the tickets, set up the tail gate, and did everything. All we had to do was get a babysitter and show up. It was such a treat.

I won't go into the details of the game, but Tennessee lost...and it was time to go home. We headed back to the tailgate, in order to let the crowd thin and stuff our faces with more food. About an hour later, it was time to go. We were given 2 loafs of spice/pumpkin bread for the road. It was SO good. A separate loaf had been on the table at the tailgate, and I probably ate 4 pieces. Needless to say, I was pretty excited. I didn't need the extra calories, but it was really good, and I pictured myself munching on it till it was gone. Yumm.

We had decided to give one loaf to Chris's mom for keeping our boys. That was fine with me, as long as I got at least one of them. However, as we were walking to our car, there were 2 men walking towards the stadium. One man was pushing a shopping cart, full of cans and bottles. The other, looked a little less healthy, and possibly had some mental illness. I could tell he was in need. I heard a voice say, 'give him the bread.' I wanted to, but we had already decided to give one to Chris's mom...and if I gave away the other loaf, there wouldn't be any left for me. So, I ignored that still soft nudge to give him the bread. I kept walking, and almost immediately, I knew I had made the wrong decision.

Could I really be this selfish? I had probably eaten more in the past 5 hours than he had all week long. Yet, I just kept walking, trying not to feel guilty. It didn't work. In fact, I have felt terrible about it for a while now. I just wish I could go back and have a re-do. Know what I mean? In the grand scheme of things, is it THAT big of a deal. I think the answer is, yes.  My mind keeps going back to Matthew 25:45. "Truly, I say to you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

I did finish the bread. I finished it this morning actually. I wish I could find those 2 men, and change my decision. I can't. All I can do, is pray that my actions will be different next time. That I will learn to be less selfish and more of a generous giver. And the next time I hear that soft voice saying, 'GIVE,' that no matter what, I do it...and with a generous heart.

Rice Pumpkin Treats

I saw this on Pinterest and thought I would give it a go. I used the recipe on the side of the Kellogg's box. Unfortunately, Sam couldn't participate in this project. He is allergic to rice. I also realize that Mattox is wearing the same shirt that he wore when we did the glitter pumpkins. Ha. It's in the weekly rotation because it's so darn cute.

First, you melt the marshmallows with butter.

Then, add the Rice Krispies.

While everything is still warm, add the food coloring. (Red and Yellow = Orange)

Put butter on your hands and roll into a ball. Top with Tootsie Rolls.

Mattox didn't care to participate with this part. He didn't want butter on his hands. :/

 

Overall, this was pretty fun. The hardest part was getting the treats to stay together with the Tootsie Roll in them. Good Luck.

 

Glitter Pumpkins

I got this idea off of Pinterest of course, and thought I would give it a try. It looked easy enough. Just another idea to hype up 'Halloween Day' as my 3 year old calls it. Do your own glitter pumpkins and let me know how they turn out.

First, we painted glue to the top of the pumpkin. I used a larger paint brush than usual.

Next, we sprinkled/poured glitter on the glue.

'OOOO so pretty,' Mattox said.

 

And...there you go.

 

Refiner's Fire

Yesterday, Chris and I celebrated our 5th year wedding anniversary. As we were eating dinner, and talking about the last 5 years, I realized how God has used my marriage to change me. Once I decided to marry Chris, I quit my job, relocated, started a new job, purchased a new home, married, got a new dog, and then another new dog (RIP Buddy), had my first child, quit my job, and had my second child. No amount of premarital counseling could have prepared me for all the change that would take place, once I said, "I do."
I married a patient, kind, loving, hard working, God seeking, funny man. However, marriage has not been a cake walk for me. I have been on such a journey in marriage, even in the first 5 years. I told one of my friends, that once you get married, it's as if you are walking around wearing a huge mirror. For the first time ever, you see yourself the way your spouse sees you, and sometimes that is quite disturbing. You see how your selfishness and bad attitude looks in the eyes of someone else. You also see how it affects someone else. Someone you care so much about. If that doesn't help drive you to change, I'm not sure what will.
 In 5 years, God has taken the great qualities of my husband, and used them to help me become a better person. Through Chris, I have learned how to give people the 'benefit of the doubt.' I have learned how to give things time, and not be so reactive. I have learned how to be less dependant on other people's opinions, and more focused on what I think is right. In harder times, God has used Chris to teach me patience, unconditional love, and forgiveness. God has used marriage, to show me that I can't change myself, but if I lean on Him, I can change. Did you read that? God has used marriage to teach me how to lean on Him: over, and over, and over, and over, again. In almost every way, marriage is teaching me how to be more like Christ...in the way that I live, love, and serve. Cheers to the past 5 years and to a lifetime ahead. To God be the glory, great things he has done.

False Guilt

I am not exactly sure why I feel compelled to write about guilt. I haven't done anything specifically wrong...other than the normal screw ups of the day. However, for some reason I laid in bed last night thinking about guilt. It was one of those things that just popped in my head as I was reviewing the day, thinking about the documentary I had just finished watching on TV, and praying for people on my 'list.' Somewhere in all of that, I started thinking about how it feels to feel guilty. I was thinking about how people and circumstances have made me feel guilty in the past, and how guilt plays itself out in my current day to day life (especially as a mom...you moms out there totally know what I mean). As a mom we feel guilty about everything. Personally, I feel guilty if my kids don't get outside enough, if they have watched too much TV, if they had too much sugar, if I walked away from playing with them to fix dinner or sweep the floor, if dinner isn't made, if the house isn't clean..etc The list is endless. Guilt also shows up other ways. You know what I mean? When something you think is a good idea, blows up in your face. What is that sick feeling that results? Guilt. Or, when someone blames you for something that could or could not be your fault? Guilt. But last night, a new phrase popped in my head when I was thinking about this. The phrase, 'false guilt' came to mind. I suddenly became aware that there are 2 kinds of guilt. False guilt is the kind of guilt that makes you feel small...makes you feel hopeless...makes you feel ashamed of who you are. It makes you want to hide. For me, last night, I realized there is a distinction between this 'false guilt,' and a tugging of the Holy Spirit for change in our lives. This tugging occurs when we do things wrong, or need to change, so in a sense, it is like guilt. But it's different. It doesn't feel the same...does it? Seems like it's more of a conviction. There is hope in this kind of guilt. It's a drive for change. A drive to be better, do better, think better, and live better. It's not a sick feeling in the depths of your gut. It's a realization, call to action, and a weight lifted. THIS is the kind of guilt that we should welcome. From now on, as I am working to be the best wife and mother I can be, I will try be aware of the false guilt that persistently tries to creep into my day.