False Guilt

I am not exactly sure why I feel compelled to write about guilt. I haven't done anything specifically wrong...other than the normal screw ups of the day. However, for some reason I laid in bed last night thinking about guilt. It was one of those things that just popped in my head as I was reviewing the day, thinking about the documentary I had just finished watching on TV, and praying for people on my 'list.' Somewhere in all of that, I started thinking about how it feels to feel guilty. I was thinking about how people and circumstances have made me feel guilty in the past, and how guilt plays itself out in my current day to day life (especially as a mom...you moms out there totally know what I mean). As a mom we feel guilty about everything. Personally, I feel guilty if my kids don't get outside enough, if they have watched too much TV, if they had too much sugar, if I walked away from playing with them to fix dinner or sweep the floor, if dinner isn't made, if the house isn't clean..etc The list is endless. Guilt also shows up other ways. You know what I mean? When something you think is a good idea, blows up in your face. What is that sick feeling that results? Guilt. Or, when someone blames you for something that could or could not be your fault? Guilt. But last night, a new phrase popped in my head when I was thinking about this. The phrase, 'false guilt' came to mind. I suddenly became aware that there are 2 kinds of guilt. False guilt is the kind of guilt that makes you feel small...makes you feel hopeless...makes you feel ashamed of who you are. It makes you want to hide. For me, last night, I realized there is a distinction between this 'false guilt,' and a tugging of the Holy Spirit for change in our lives. This tugging occurs when we do things wrong, or need to change, so in a sense, it is like guilt. But it's different. It doesn't feel the same...does it? Seems like it's more of a conviction. There is hope in this kind of guilt. It's a drive for change. A drive to be better, do better, think better, and live better. It's not a sick feeling in the depths of your gut. It's a realization, call to action, and a weight lifted. THIS is the kind of guilt that we should welcome. From now on, as I am working to be the best wife and mother I can be, I will try be aware of the false guilt that persistently tries to creep into my day.