Happy 5th Birthday Sam!

Sam,
       Happy 5th Birthday! I can't believe you are 5. You are no longer in preschool, and off to real school this year. This year has been a big year for you. You learned to ride a bike with no training wheels right after school started. You played Tball this spring. This school year, you learned to read. And most importantly, you became a BIG BROTHER!
       This year I have learned so much about you. I see so many similarities between you and your dad. You are so sweet and kind. You make me laugh daily. You are slow to do everything, because you are in your own world. You enjoy snuggles on the couch and having my undivided attention. At just 4 years old, you can read a room…and work the room. Everyone loves you. You wear a smile all day, every day. You rarely cry or have any kind of melt down. You are smart, funny, loving, respectful, and strong willed. When you decide to do something, there is no holding you back. You don't let "no" stop you. You find another way to get what you want. You are persistent and at times manipulative. You are going to be a very talented man one day.
       You still memorize commercials and love to dress up and pretend. You love legos and your imagination is AMAZING. You love to cook and help me in the kitchen. I always joke and say that you might have your own cooking show on TV, because you talk constantly and love to cook. :) Your handwriting is good for your age. You are gentle with Eli, and you talk to him a very sweet voice. You always call him, "big," and he loves when you talk to him.
       Sam, you are an awesome son, brother, and friend. This year I have really seen you shine among your peers. I am obviously SO proud of you and pray that you grow strong in the Lord, as this world gets more difficult to navigate. Happy 5th Birthday. I pray God allows many more, and I couldn't be more thankful He gave you to me. I love you to the MAX!

LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER,
MOM

Staying Engaged in the Process

                         Marriage is hard. Anyone who says that marriage is easy, is a liar.

       So far, in my marriage journey, there have been definite ups and downs. We have hit some pretty significant roadblocks, and have had to learn to work through them. We will likely continue to have our ups and downs, and will have to work through them again. and again. and again. 

       I want other people to know my marriage isn't perfect. Neither is my family. We are an institution, made up of 5 selfish sinners. We are broken people who want things our way. It is a daily struggle to say, "no" to ourselves and "yes" to God. It is hard to practice being the "least of these," in a culture that only esteems the first and best. It isn't easy to turn our eyes upward and live accountable to God only, as we are  tempted to look outward at what everyone else is doing. This journey that the Lord has before us, isn't easy. However, one thing I am learning, is that it's a process.

       A few years ago I went to counseling. (Yes we go to counseling. We feel a strong marriage is one of the single best gifts we can give our kids, and therefore should be one of the biggest places in which we invest. Having an objective person who is trained in this area is a great investment). Every time I would go, she would say the same thing…"it's a process." It was the most annoying thing ever! It seemed to be her go to line for me. Her answer for everything. I had never thought about love in this context before. I just thought that love should exist, and it should look the way I wanted it to. To me, love was more black and white than that. Not a process. That was a new concept for me. An important concept for me to understand and embrace. Did you know, the number one predictor of divorce, is how ENGAGED you stay with the PROCESS? So, in other words, Chris and I can get it ALL wrong, for a long period of time, but if we both stay engaged in the process of bettering our marriage, we have a really good shot at staying together forever. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that refreshing? Despite our failures at loving each other, the longevity of our marriage, is truly in our hands. 

       I am learning to not only embrace the process…but love it. I'm not going to lie. It is hard. Isn't it? It requires so much of us. Patience. Forgiveness. Constant communication. Time. Energy. Being intentional. Selflessness. Availability. Money. The list goes on and on. The process is where we have no choice but to allow do-over after do-over. In the process, there can never be enough mulligans. The process can be disappointing. It can be throw your head back, punch a wall, frustrating. However, the process is where God is at work. It is where He refines us, and we know from past experiences, that is never an easy place to be. However, it's where God teaches us TO LOVE the way Jesus loves. It is where we learn to meet each other where we are at, and go from there. It is where we learn to forgive and move on. It is where we learn to take our failures, disappointments, fear, anger, and hurt, all to the GOD OF ALL COMFORT.  It is where we learn to surrender. It is where we learn to lean into God for HIS strength to make it another day. It's where we see if God is who He says He is, and will do what He says He will do. It is where we see, if what we sing on Sunday, is true on Thursday. It is where we see if He is indeed, more than enough. The process is one test after the next. One opportunity to improve after the next. It is one chance to become a better listener, giver, friend, lover, leader, follower, prayer worrier, after the next. It is where we rejoice in the victories, and fight through the failures. It is where we decided if we will press on or check out. 

         I am on a journey as a Christian, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an in-law, and a friend. It's a process, and I am choosing to stay engaged.

Welcome Elijah Kelly Reeder

Hi Eli,
You have been here for about 3 months, and I am just now sitting down to write about how much I love you. It isn't because of you that it has taken me so long. So far, you have been the MOST AMAZING BABY. You are a sound sleeper, and you really don't cry often. You are so adorable, and at times you look like Paw Paw and Dad. Mostly, you look like Sam. You love your little hands and look at them and suck on your fingers all the time. You also play with your ears a lot. You are so cute.
I don't get to hold you as much as I would like, because I am so busy trying to keep the house from falling apart. You love the swing, so I try not to feel too guilty.

Your brothers love you so much. They are very gentle with you and always say sweet stuff to you, using a high voice, so you will smile at them. It is so nice to see them love on you…and you respond. You and dad have a special bond. Your eyes light up when you see him, and you smile and laugh when he talks to you. I love to watch the two of you interact.

Eli, I pray that you will grow up to be an awesome and strong man of God. That you will be bold in your faith and wise with your words. That you will treat people kindly and fairly. That you will dream big and work hard.

Welcome to the family. You will always be loved.

Love,
Mom