Christmas Cookies

I am trying to do more in the kitchen with the boys these days. I thought making cookies would be a good activity for us. You have heard me mention that I meet with a bunch of ladies every Thursday at a local church. A few weeks ago, we baked tons of cookies for an organization called, "Cookies for Cancer." It was a lot of fun, so I figured I would let the boys in on it. It was messy, but Sam really got into it. I was surprised at how quickly he picked up on using the cookie cutters, etc. Sprinkles were a huge hit, and as you can see, in the pictures, they were very tasty. I forgot to do a picture of the final product. However, today after nap time, we are doing this again. This time Paw Paw is coming over to help.

Mattox rolling dough, while Sam throws as much flour on the floor as possible.

Sam couldn't help but snag a few pieces of cookie dough. The evidence is on his face. So cute.

Alas, we decorated with sprinkles. We even brought out the sprinkles from Easter that I we never used on anything. Who says snowmen and ginger bread men don't wear pink and purple?  :) The boys are digging the leftovers.

Painter's Tape City

This provided hours of fun for my boys. During naptime, I put this together in hopes of having a peaceful afternoon. I wanted to be able to prepare dinner in peace. THIS DID THE TRICK. If you have painter's tape, a few cars, and in this case, some really cool blocks to create a city, you are good to go.

First, sweep the floor. Second, use the painter's tape to create roads. If you have blocks, you can use them for buildings. I didn't do this, but you could also use little animal figurines. Maybe make a zoo...just an idea.

Here, Mattox is very focused on having one car yield to the other. We take traffic laws very serious in this house. :)

Here, we talked about slowing down in a school zone. If the bus stops, all the other cars have to stop, so the kids can get off safely. Not sure why, but my son is very big on safety. We also covered the pedestrian crossing sign. Again, cars must slow down and stop to let people cross the street safely.



This is the overhead shot of the city. Yes, the blue blob is my attempt at making a park with a lake. It's obvious, I am no city planner.



Give this one a shot. If you have any other ideas to make this more fun, send them my way. I will be doing this frequently. Good Luck!

Perception. Reality?

Every Thursday, I meet with a group of ladies at a local church. Everyone has such different personalities and bring a variety of talents to the table. It is a time to learn, grow, relax, and occasionally vent. One issue that keeps coming up in our group, is how we often compare our insides, to everyone else's outsides.
I think social media has totally aided in this terrible habit, we sometimes do, without thinking. As much as I love keeping up with my friends on Facebook, I can't help but sometimes compare what I am doing, to what they appear to be doing. It seems like so many moms have their act together. Their kids are always dressed so nicely, doing crafts that never seem to get messy, and have their house so nicely decorated, with everything in it's place. In their pictures, they seem to have finished a daily workout, showered, and put on makeup. In the background, there is no sign of clutter in their home...and to top it off, their dog is nicely sitting on it's bed, content with chewing on a bone. I am sure their organic, preservative free dinner is already made...and it's only 10am.
 As I take all this in, I can't help but feel insecure. Am I doing this stay at home mom thing, right? I do my best to send my 3 year old to school, wearing cute clothes and combed hair. I understand the importance of him looking good, feeling good, and being able to hold his head high as he enters his little classroom. Hopefully, this day, he matches, and has a semi healthy lunch packed. But honestly, my pictures on Facebook show a different story. A story that goes like this. My kids are wearing hand me downs that are covered in oatmeal, because I let them feed themselves. On the occasion they miss their mouth, Summer the dog is more than happy to help with clean up. Sometimes she even aids in cleaning their hands for them. Laundry is everywhere, because my washer and dryer is in the kitchen. Some of the clean clothes are folded, the others were folded, then taken out by my 1 year old that thought it would be fun to take them out, and throw them back in with one of his new found sound effects. I certainly haven't showered OR put on makeup. I am lucky to do that at a stoplight on the way to preschool. As I back out of the driveway, I notice my yard, full of leaves, although the trash men just took away 6 trash bags full of leaves from last week. My car is a WRECK. Why? I have extra juice boxes, diapers, wipes, jackets, toys, and hand sanitizer. I also have multiple crafts that came home from preschool, laying in my front seat. They've yet to make it into the house, nicely put away in their proper location. Did I mention that it's December, and my house isn't decorated for Christmas as well as others'. You can forget about getting organized enough to send out a Christmas card. There is a lot to feel insecure about, as I look at pictures. However, the other day, I was thinking....I DO have some victories as a stay at home mom.
For example, my kids may be at the kitchen table with bed head, but my 1 year old is the 1st one to fold his hands for the blessing. My son lost his toy Goofy and told me, "I can call God and Jesus, and they will help me find him." My son asks me each morning if I will snuggle with him. My other son gives me huge, wide open mouth kisses almost every time I ask.
I also have victories that aren't so easy to blog about. For example, the other night, my son was acting TERRIBLE. In the moment, I was angry, but took a second away from him, and realized he was just exhausted. He didn't need to be punished, he needed sleep. So, instead of taking toys away or spanking him, I just laid down as he was sobbing. I told him he was such a good boy, and that I was going to lay with him for a few mins. He was asleep shortly after. I came to bed, thanking God he gave me the discernment to not act out some of the thoughts I had, but instead, to offer grace in that moment. Maybe my victories as a mom aren't ones you can photograph and post on Facebook. Maybe I'm doing a decent job, even if my kid's clothes aren't new and their hair isn't perfect. In fact, perhaps I am giving them security in the fact that they are loved, even if they aren't perfect. I hope so. I hope they are learning to be confident in the love they have in me, Chris, and ultimately, Christ. I hope they are learning not to judge others by what they look like, what abilities/disabilities they have, or what house they live in. As I am convicted of comparing my insides to other people's outsides, I think of these 2 scriptures and hope that I am modeling values that will result in eternal glory.
Samuel 16:7   
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Painting with cars

If you know my boys, you know they love cars. They love trucks and anything that goes. However, they aren't big on paint, coloring, or anything like that. So, to incorporate both, I thought it would be fun to dip wheels in paint, and roll them around on paper. This was easy and fun. The clean up was easy too. This was my kind of project. This winter, I will probably do this again. Next time, I will tape large sheets of paper down on the floor, and do a much larger version of this. Give it a try with your kids.

Just tape down paper on a table, let them pick out different cars, and put paint on paper plates.

Here we reinforce red and yellow makes orange. We have gone over this a million times since Halloween.

 

Final product.

A Missed Opportunity

This past Sunday, my church started a series called, "Justice." It is a 5 week series covering world issues that we (us living in the US) tend to ignore. Sunday afternoon, I sat with a group of friends, discussing the 1st week's sermon on orphan care. You could tell that everyone, at some point in the discussion, was overwhelmed by the problem....and also overwhelmed with how to reach out and help. I was also overwhelmed. However, I started to think, 'what if I just took the opportunities that came my way to make a difference. Not just with orphans, but with everyone.'

Suddenly, my thoughts went back to 2 weeks ago. My husband and I had been invited to go to the South Carolina v Tennessee football game at USC. The people that invited us, got us the tickets, set up the tail gate, and did everything. All we had to do was get a babysitter and show up. It was such a treat.

I won't go into the details of the game, but Tennessee lost...and it was time to go home. We headed back to the tailgate, in order to let the crowd thin and stuff our faces with more food. About an hour later, it was time to go. We were given 2 loafs of spice/pumpkin bread for the road. It was SO good. A separate loaf had been on the table at the tailgate, and I probably ate 4 pieces. Needless to say, I was pretty excited. I didn't need the extra calories, but it was really good, and I pictured myself munching on it till it was gone. Yumm.

We had decided to give one loaf to Chris's mom for keeping our boys. That was fine with me, as long as I got at least one of them. However, as we were walking to our car, there were 2 men walking towards the stadium. One man was pushing a shopping cart, full of cans and bottles. The other, looked a little less healthy, and possibly had some mental illness. I could tell he was in need. I heard a voice say, 'give him the bread.' I wanted to, but we had already decided to give one to Chris's mom...and if I gave away the other loaf, there wouldn't be any left for me. So, I ignored that still soft nudge to give him the bread. I kept walking, and almost immediately, I knew I had made the wrong decision.

Could I really be this selfish? I had probably eaten more in the past 5 hours than he had all week long. Yet, I just kept walking, trying not to feel guilty. It didn't work. In fact, I have felt terrible about it for a while now. I just wish I could go back and have a re-do. Know what I mean? In the grand scheme of things, is it THAT big of a deal. I think the answer is, yes.  My mind keeps going back to Matthew 25:45. "Truly, I say to you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

I did finish the bread. I finished it this morning actually. I wish I could find those 2 men, and change my decision. I can't. All I can do, is pray that my actions will be different next time. That I will learn to be less selfish and more of a generous giver. And the next time I hear that soft voice saying, 'GIVE,' that no matter what, I do it...and with a generous heart.

Rice Pumpkin Treats

I saw this on Pinterest and thought I would give it a go. I used the recipe on the side of the Kellogg's box. Unfortunately, Sam couldn't participate in this project. He is allergic to rice. I also realize that Mattox is wearing the same shirt that he wore when we did the glitter pumpkins. Ha. It's in the weekly rotation because it's so darn cute.

First, you melt the marshmallows with butter.

Then, add the Rice Krispies.

While everything is still warm, add the food coloring. (Red and Yellow = Orange)

Put butter on your hands and roll into a ball. Top with Tootsie Rolls.

Mattox didn't care to participate with this part. He didn't want butter on his hands. :/

 

Overall, this was pretty fun. The hardest part was getting the treats to stay together with the Tootsie Roll in them. Good Luck.

 

Glitter Pumpkins

I got this idea off of Pinterest of course, and thought I would give it a try. It looked easy enough. Just another idea to hype up 'Halloween Day' as my 3 year old calls it. Do your own glitter pumpkins and let me know how they turn out.

First, we painted glue to the top of the pumpkin. I used a larger paint brush than usual.

Next, we sprinkled/poured glitter on the glue.

'OOOO so pretty,' Mattox said.

 

And...there you go.

 

Refiner's Fire

Yesterday, Chris and I celebrated our 5th year wedding anniversary. As we were eating dinner, and talking about the last 5 years, I realized how God has used my marriage to change me. Once I decided to marry Chris, I quit my job, relocated, started a new job, purchased a new home, married, got a new dog, and then another new dog (RIP Buddy), had my first child, quit my job, and had my second child. No amount of premarital counseling could have prepared me for all the change that would take place, once I said, "I do."
I married a patient, kind, loving, hard working, God seeking, funny man. However, marriage has not been a cake walk for me. I have been on such a journey in marriage, even in the first 5 years. I told one of my friends, that once you get married, it's as if you are walking around wearing a huge mirror. For the first time ever, you see yourself the way your spouse sees you, and sometimes that is quite disturbing. You see how your selfishness and bad attitude looks in the eyes of someone else. You also see how it affects someone else. Someone you care so much about. If that doesn't help drive you to change, I'm not sure what will.
 In 5 years, God has taken the great qualities of my husband, and used them to help me become a better person. Through Chris, I have learned how to give people the 'benefit of the doubt.' I have learned how to give things time, and not be so reactive. I have learned how to be less dependant on other people's opinions, and more focused on what I think is right. In harder times, God has used Chris to teach me patience, unconditional love, and forgiveness. God has used marriage, to show me that I can't change myself, but if I lean on Him, I can change. Did you read that? God has used marriage to teach me how to lean on Him: over, and over, and over, and over, again. In almost every way, marriage is teaching me how to be more like Christ...in the way that I live, love, and serve. Cheers to the past 5 years and to a lifetime ahead. To God be the glory, great things he has done.

False Guilt

I am not exactly sure why I feel compelled to write about guilt. I haven't done anything specifically wrong...other than the normal screw ups of the day. However, for some reason I laid in bed last night thinking about guilt. It was one of those things that just popped in my head as I was reviewing the day, thinking about the documentary I had just finished watching on TV, and praying for people on my 'list.' Somewhere in all of that, I started thinking about how it feels to feel guilty. I was thinking about how people and circumstances have made me feel guilty in the past, and how guilt plays itself out in my current day to day life (especially as a mom...you moms out there totally know what I mean). As a mom we feel guilty about everything. Personally, I feel guilty if my kids don't get outside enough, if they have watched too much TV, if they had too much sugar, if I walked away from playing with them to fix dinner or sweep the floor, if dinner isn't made, if the house isn't clean..etc The list is endless. Guilt also shows up other ways. You know what I mean? When something you think is a good idea, blows up in your face. What is that sick feeling that results? Guilt. Or, when someone blames you for something that could or could not be your fault? Guilt. But last night, a new phrase popped in my head when I was thinking about this. The phrase, 'false guilt' came to mind. I suddenly became aware that there are 2 kinds of guilt. False guilt is the kind of guilt that makes you feel small...makes you feel hopeless...makes you feel ashamed of who you are. It makes you want to hide. For me, last night, I realized there is a distinction between this 'false guilt,' and a tugging of the Holy Spirit for change in our lives. This tugging occurs when we do things wrong, or need to change, so in a sense, it is like guilt. But it's different. It doesn't feel the same...does it? Seems like it's more of a conviction. There is hope in this kind of guilt. It's a drive for change. A drive to be better, do better, think better, and live better. It's not a sick feeling in the depths of your gut. It's a realization, call to action, and a weight lifted. THIS is the kind of guilt that we should welcome. From now on, as I am working to be the best wife and mother I can be, I will try be aware of the false guilt that persistently tries to creep into my day.

Leaves Fall...in the Fall.

A few days ago, the boys and I went on a walk to collect different types of leaves. I thought it would be fun to collect them, and glue them on a piece of paper. Both boys seemed to enjoy picking up leaves off the sidewalk, and putting them in their bag. I think they learned a lot on the walk. We tried to pick out different colors and sizes. We also picked up some pine cones, acorns, and sticks for a later project. All in all, the walk was the best part of this project. They seemed to laugh when I kept explaining that the leaves fall...in the Fall. I'm not sure what is so funny about that...but Mattox has always had a thing for alliteration and such. They also thought it was hilarious that we ran over dog poo; specifically, that I was so grossed out by it. When I used the word, 'grody,' it sent them into hysterics. That was definitely the highlight of the walk for them.

As far as the project was concerned,itt frustrated me a bit. Mattox kept trying to put glue on the leaves that had already been glued onto the paper. I noticed this on one of his projects he brought home from preschool the other day as well. I guess we need some practice with the glue. Ha.
Despite my frustration, I kept hearing a friend (former educator) saying, "It's not the final product....it's the process that's important." So, I tried to relax and let him do whatever he wanted with the glue. LOL

I put glue in a small dish and let them put it on the paper with paint brushes. I thought it may be a bit cleaner that way. I was surprised how quickly Sam picked up what we were doing.

After a few minutes, Sam decided to taste the glue. He only did that once.

Final product....but remember...it's the process that is important. :) 

Does it sink or float?

Today we had some time to kill, so we decided to do an experiment. Nothing big, but the boys LOVED it. We took a pitcher of water, found some random stuff around the house, and tried to guess if it would sink or float. I was surprised the boys had so much fun with this. I will probably do a bigger version of this outside before it gets too cold. I think it would be fun to find things outside and test them out.



Veggie Tales and Soccer Shots

I am sure there are many lessons I will continue to learn as a parent. Some of them are subtle, others scream at you. Last week, I heard a loud scream.

We all have an idea of how we want our children to behave. What we want them to like. What we want them to do. I first noticed this, when I was pregnant with Mattox. I remember shopping at a consignment sale for books, dvds, clothes, etc. I purchased 3 Veggie Tales DVDs that I thought he would totally enjoy. I was proud. I wasn't going to expose him to the junk on TV. He was going to love this cartoon that emphasized biblical principles and grow his character. During those tough moments, when I needed 30 mins of quiet, I could just cut this on...and life would be good. So I thought.

Mattox doesn't like Veggie Tales. He is 3 now, and I have tried to put those DVDs on various times over the past 3 years...to no avail. Veggie Tales has never kept his attention. Instead, it was Barney (God help us all), Thomas, Diego, and now Little Einsteins. Lesson: You can't always control what your kids like.

This lesson was reinforced last week. I had decided to sign Mattox up for something called Soccer Shots. It's an intro to soccer for 3-5 year olds. I thought it would be a good idea to expose him to the game. After signing him up, I told him we would go out to the soccer fields and practice a little bit. So, after nap time, we went to the park. It was a complete disaster. He kicked the ball 2 times and then wanted to go play on the bleachers. He wasn't the LEAST bit interested in kicking the soccer ball. I was so bummed. I had pictured Mattox trying to kick the ball past me as I played goalie. I had pictured me acting as if I couldn't stop the ball and yelling, "Goalllll" at him after he gave his best shot...and there we were. Sitting on the bleachers and watching the airplanes fly over us.

Finally, I talked Mattox into going to the baseball fields. He seemed more excited about that. We hopped back into the car and drove to the fields. I pulled up as close as I could to the field so I wouldn't have to carry Sam the entire way. I parked the car, got out, and heard an odd sound. There was a man on the other field. He was flying a remote controlled airplane. I have to admit, it was cool, and I knew Mattox was going to LOVE IT!. I got Mattox and Sam out of the car and pretended like the airplane wasn't flying over us. Of course both boys were ooooing and ahhhhing over it, so I finally gave up, grabbed 2 juice boxes out of the trunk, and took a seat to watch the man with the plane work his magic. This whole attempt to play ball with my boys was a hot mess. They weren't even close to being interested in ball, but Mattox was having the time of his life with this remote controlled airplane. Mattox sat there and soaked up every word the man said about how it works, and what does what....

Finally the man left and we made it on the baseball field. We ended up having fun running the bases and hitting the ball, but I knew the lesson God wanted me to learn that day. I heard Him say, "You couldn't make him like Veggie Tales, and you can't make him love ball. I have given him many gifts and talents that may or may not include athletics. How sad would it be if I called him to be one of the best pilots in the nation, and you didn't support that. You are accountable to Me....to help him grow up to be what I have called him to be....not what you want him to be."

Luckily Soccer Shots got canceled because not enough kids signed up. I can't say I was disappointed.  HaHa.

The Not So Creative Mom

I am what many would consider, a not so creative mom. I must confess...I haven't taken my kids to see Santa, we don't bake cookies, and we don't sit around and color. We read books, play with trucks, trains, and airplanes, and watch a lot of TV. Too much TV, probably. As I watch my children's respond to the ipad, I am excited to have a new tool to help educate my kids. However, the guilt sets in at night, when I realize how much time we have wasted in front of a screen. Compared to other homes, I probably do a decent job of regulating media time, but at the expense of a lot of gas and money being spent at places like Monkey Joes. None of these things are bad, but I do feel the need to play along side my kids in a more creative way. As I look at other blogs, I am a bit overwhelmed by the moms that seem to be so creative. I get on Pinterest, and feel very insecure about my inabilities as a creative thinker. I am just not made that way. However, I really would like to try some of the ideas I have read about with my kids. So far, I have only tried glow sticks in the bath tub, and they were a big hit. Very inexpensive...and fun to watch. Over the next few months...and hopefully years, I am going to try to incorporate some of these activities. I will probably blog about them, in hopes to inspire other moms out there that are, 'not so creative.' I marked my calendar for something new every week. Hopefully I will get to them all. However, I'm not going to stress if I don't. Attached are pictures of 2 sensory bins I put together. The 1st one was for Sam (my 1 year old). I thought I would try it on him 1st. The 2nd, for both of them after they wake up from their nap in about 5mins.

 

This is a plastic litter pan (brand new of course), with rice, construction magnets, noodles, and some spoons. Sam really liked this. I was impressed that he could pick up small pieces of rice on the floor and throw it back into the plan. All of this stuff, I had laying around the house.

 

This is the one I put together today I purchased a large bin from Walmart ($7) and a bag of rice ($4) and everything else I had from home. The construction trucks we have collected over time. The letters I am pretty sure I got from Target out of the dollar section. The poms just added a little texture and color...they are inexpensive too. Hopefully it's a hit.

 

The goal isn't to become Supermom. It's just to be the best mom we can be. That is a journey...and it takes time. Even as moms, we are constantly being...Woven and Spun.

 

Child of Mine

Dear Child of Mine,
I thought now would be a good time for me to introduce myself. My real name is Lauren, but you can call me Mama (at least, that's what my other 2 call me). I am not sure who you are yet, but I want you to know that I have been thinking a lot about you. Long before you were even born, God put YOU on my heart. He hasn't given me any other information about you. I don't know your past. I don't know where you are. I don't know what you look like. I'm not sure if you are a boy or a girl. I certainly don't know your name. Although I don't know much about you yet, I do know that God has brought you into my home. I know you are 'fearfully and wonderfully made in the likeness of Christ.' Everything else...well,we can discover later. Until then, let's just say you and I already have a lot in common. Let me go ahead and introduce you to the other members of your family. Your dad is named Christopher, but we call him Chris. He is a red head. There aren't that many of them around. He is laid back and gentle. He is totally trustworthy. He always tries to do the right thing. He is very talented and you will learn a lot from him. He will love you with all of his heart too. Just like me.
You have 2 brothers. Mattox is 3. He is working on sharing. Hopefully by the time you arrive, he will have that down. He loves trains, trucks, and about anything that has an engine. He is very sensitive and smart. He makes me laugh without trying, because he is also very serious. Sam is your other brother. He is only 1, but is very big boy. I am saving his hand-me-downs in case you want them. Sam is the comedian of the family. He takes after dad. He knows what he wants, and if he doesn't get it, you will hear a big screech. It's a bit ear piercing, but after a while, you should get used to it. He also likes transportation. He is learning so much right now, but know this; you are in for some good laughs with him as your brother.
I think you are coming to a pretty cool family. We aren't perfect or rich, but we have a lot to offer. We are all on this journey together...here to lean on each other, learn from each other, support each other, and uplift each other. The goal? To become all that Christ would want us to be. To serve Him. You see, just like you aren't going to be in your temporary home forever...we won't be here forever. There is a bigger picture. I don't want to get too deep too soon, but just remember that. The bigger/eternal picture.
We will have to keep our chins high on this journey. It will be LONG. Way tooo long. There will be setbacks. Honestly, it will probably be one of the hardest journey's dad and I will ever go on. But the good news is God has already walked it out. Step by step. So...when things seem to be going nowhere, and you feel stuck and alone..like no one cares about you. Remember that I do. Remember that I think of you often. Actually..more like constantly. In God's timing, you will help complete our family. Until then. Hugs, Kisses, Prayers, and all the love a mom can give. :)
Love,
Mom

Ps. This is a recent picture of us at the beach. Sorry you missed it. But no worries, many more to come.

Omniscience

Several months ago, Chris and I started looking into the adoption process. We aren't sure if this is something we will ultimately do, but we are both open to the idea of God using adoption to expand our family. As I started to read about different agencies/countries, I began to run across several articles regarding the day to day life that many orphans endure (especially abroad). My heart began to break. I have always been someone who carries the weight of the world on my shoulders, but it seems that becoming a mom has intensified this; especially as it relates to orphans, child abuse, or any type of injustice towards kids.
There were articles I read, that literally made me cry. I began to wonder, the age old question, "how can God allow these terrible things to happen to these children." After all, I don't have a face, or even a name, to go with these children I am reading about. On the contrary, God spoke life into them. He created them. He knows their faces, their names, their desires, their needs, their pain, and their neglect. If I know none of this, and yet, still cry over their circumstances, to what degree does this break God's heart? Why doesn't he intervene....EVERY TIME? How can He allow babies to endure hardship that they didn't choose and they can't control? What does this say about His goodness?

In time, I began to doubt God's goodness.

This is ironic, because I know in my life, God has been very good. I have an amazing husband, and 2 beautiful boys. I have everything I want and need. I have food to eat and a nice home. I mean, I get to take a bath every night in a bath full of hot, clean, water. Why would I ever doubt God's goodness.
But I have...and it became very difficult to stand in church and sing, "how great is our God...sing with me, how is our God..." In the back of my head, the details of what I read made it difficult for me to sing these words and mean it. I began to lose the desire to fellowship with God. As my mind bought into the idea, that God's lack of intervention reflects poorly on His character, I started slipping in my walk with Him.

However, it's amazing how He always sends us reassurance in the times when we CHOOSE to neglect our relationship with Him.

One afternoon, after Chris came home from work, I decided to take Summer (our dog) for a walk. I never do this. I know this is healthy, and I should do it more often, but I don't. This afternoon however, I actually dusted off her leash and headed out the door. The sun was starting to go down. The sky, and everything around me, was starting to get darker. As I was walking, and processing this idea of God's goodness, I heard a noise. I looked to my left, in the woods, and saw an owl fly from the ground, to a branch on a tree, a few feet away. I stopped and stared. I had never seen an owl in real life. Maybe I did at a bird rescue when I was 9 or 10, but not out in the open, in real life. It just stared at me, and I stared at it. It sat there for probably 20 seconds, but it felt like at least a minute....then flew away. I started to walk away when I heard in my head, "Lauren, owls are symbols of wisdom...but I know ALL things. Would it make sense for you to explain the complexity of this world to your 3 year old? No. His little brain won't be able to comprehend. I created this world, and I know how it works. If I tried to explain it to you, you still wouldn't understand."

I walked away realizing that what I was seeking, was not really all the answers. Rather, reassurance that God doesn't ignore our circumstances. He does care for us. He never leaves us, even when we doubt Him. Additionally, I was reminded that this Earth is not our final destination. It's also not the final destination for those who endure hardship that is unfathomable.

I still think of that walk I took on a regular basis. As my eyes are opened to the cruel injustice of this world, it makes it easier for me to stand in church and sing, "turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful grace, and the things of Earth (both good and bad) will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."

Turning Lemons into Lemonade.

The7 mile mud run in PA was bitter sweet. I arrived in PA around 8pm the night before the race. We had a few places to go before driving up the mountain to Seven Springs. As soon as I got in the car, I realized something was off. My friend and her coworker were acting a little too close for comfort. It wasn't long before I realized I had been brought along on this trip, as simply a cover up for their affairs. I won't go into the details of the trip regarding this matter. All I have to say, is on this trip, I was reminded of the selfish nature that resides in each of us apart from God.

The race on the other hand was AMAZING. We woke up Saturday morning with a chill in the air. I was a bit worried that I would be cold, but my main concern was getting my hair braided. The last thing I wanted was sticky, muddy, nasty hair, while I was trying to make it through 7 hilly miles. All I can say, is the weather was perfect. The water was very chilly, which was very refreshing. The race couldn't have gone better.

You know those moments when you react in a way that makes you stop and think, "2 years ago I wouldn't have reacted this way." You know, those times when you recognize that you have actually matured? This weekend, I was very proud of myself. I was go with the flow, in a very compromising environment, and definitely turned lemons into lemonade.

Transitions

Transition: The process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

 My dad has been in the same business for over 30 years until today. He knew this industry like the back of his hand. He has spent my entire life, providing for our family, by promoting baby pictures. It's amazing that today, that came to an end.

It made me think about the transitions that I have undergone in my lifetime. The first major transition was going to college. What an amazing time for me. This is where I truly found what I believe and why. It was also the first time my faith had been tested to its breaking point. After 2 years at UNCW, I left with a bitter taste in my mouth. I didn't know where I was going to go, or what I was going to do....I remember how difficult it was to not know. I ended up at the University of Tennessee. Talk about a transition! I went from the beach to the mtns. I went from one of the worst softball programs in the nation to one of the best. I went from a manageable Spanish curriculum, to very difficult classes. I went from having friends, to having none. Did I adjust? Was it for the best? No doubt.

What about from undergrad to graduate school? That was a major transition. Until graduate school, I had never written more than a 10pg paper. One of my 1st assignments was to write a 35pg paper. I remember being totally overwhelmed. By the time I graduated, I had written a 137pg thesis.

From college to the real word? Extreme Transition. I went from wearing sweats everyday, to wearing heels. I went from wearing no make up, to buying one of everything at the Clinique counter. I learned how to soften my approach toward people (something I am still working on) and close a deal. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

And from Corporate America to marriage? I faced a lot of transition during this time. I left FL, moved to NC, found a new job, got married, and became a home owner. There were MANY growing pains as the two of us became one, but I am so much better for it. I also have 2 beautiful and amazing children because of it.

There are many lessons on this Earth that will take an eternity to learn. I believe one of them is that God's truth will never change, although our circumstances will. From one life's transition to another, God gives us a constant reminder that this too is only a season. Before we know it, we will have survived the cold, dreary, winter...and are ready to embrace the spring. Until then, I try to meditate on the lyrics written by Fred Hammond which say:

All things are working for me, even things I can't see
Your ways are so beyond me,
but You said that you would let it be for my good,
so I'll rest and just believe

The truth is He cannot lie,
I'm in His hands and I'm on his mind,
promised me He'd always be there,
so by faith He will answer my prayer

It helps to see how God has used my past transitions to move me into a better situation, in which I would have never put myself. Ultimately, for my good. Good luck Dad. You are amazing.

Commissioned

Somewhere along the way, I was challenged to write a life mission statement. This was written years ago, but still applies to my life today. This is what I came up with.

My life mission is to serve God. to be a living testimony of God's love to my family and my community. To be grounded in scripture, devoted to prayer, and always thankful for my countless blessings.

Running

For those of you who don't know, I used to be a college athlete at the University of Tennessee. That was many years ago, and now I am a wife and a mom to 2 little boys. I have spent the past few years being pregnant, which is not a motivating time work out. Needless to say, I haven't "hit the gym" in a few years. However, my college room mate asked me to do a 7 mile mud run with her in 4 weeks. I agreed. Mainly because it is going to give me a weekend away from everything, and give me the chance to laugh hysterically with an old friend. I need that from time to time.

In order to prepare for this race, I have been trying to run daily. This is how I came up with the idea to do a blog. While I am running, there are so many things that go through my head, that I would like to write about. Lyrics to songs, points in a sermon, observations throughout my day...each will probably, at some point, be reflected upon on this blog. I have to warn you, I am no one special. I am very ordinary and somewhat unique at the same time. However, maybe I have something to say that will inspire or encourage you. I thought this would be a good way to let people know who I am, what I do, how I struggle, how I grow, and what I am really about. Thank you for taking the time to read. May God bless you always.