If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?
Matthew 16:26
Last week, while attending a mom's group at church, I had the privilege of hearing a guest speaker from Haiti. Jackie, a 21 year old professional dancer, spent about an hour telling us 'his story.'
When his mom became pregnant with him, his dad walked out. His mom moved to the city, in hopes of finding a better life. She got married to another man, and had 3 more kids. Years later, his dad contracted AIDS, and so did his mom, and their newborn baby. At 11, he was orphaned, and left to care for his 3 younger siblings. After living on the streets for many years, he finally found refuge in a Christian boys home. It was at this home that his life was changed. He recieved proper care, shelter, and education. He started dancing, and eventually became a professional dancer, traveling the world. God took him from the streets, to the stage, and in return, he has dedicated his life to giving back to others. He currently runs a home in Haiti for children/adults with disabilities.
His story and passion was enough to get anyone thinking, but honestly, it wasn't until he talked about living on the streets that God really began to tug at my heart. Jackie said that it was on the streets that he learned what he needed to know in life. It was during this difficult part of his life that he learned how to respect people, love others, and lean on God.
Tears rolled down my face, as Jackie talked about living on the streets. I tried to put myself in his shoes, and for the life of me, I couldn't wrap my spoiled brain around what it would be like to have absolutely nothing. To be fatherless, motherless, homeless, dirty, hungry, and uneducated...with little hope that things would change. But HE SAID, it was during THIS TIME that he learned to be most....Like Christ.
Sometimes I wonder about the faith of those of us who have a lot. Specifically those of us who live in country, where we want so much stuff, and want it now....and a lot of it. Most of us have never had to lean on Christ the way Jackie did on the streets. We have never had to pray that God will provide for our next piece of bread. We have never been in such a hopeless state. I am very thankful for the abundant life God has provided for me and my family on Earth. However, as I am constantly tempted to want more, I hear God's caution: "and what do you benefit if you gain the whole world, and lose your soul." Thanks Jackie, for your reminder of God's grace, love, and loyalty to those he calls, His.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Decisions....Decisions
The past month has been jammed packed with events. First, my computer broke. We all know how that can impact your life, and especially your blog. I still don't have it back, so for now, Chris' little Dell is going to have to do. The holidays flew by as everyone in our house got sick, one at the time, but also overlapping. Luckily, I was the only one sick on Christmas. Somehow, I still packed on the lbs. I wondered how I was going to lose some weight, but then got hit in the head with a bat (teaching a softball lesson). I fractured 2 bones in my face, and had 2 solid breaks. I had surgery last week. Next time, I think I am going to try the diet and exercise route.
Probably the most interesting part of the month, was Mattox (my 3 year old) was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder. Luckily, it is pretty minor, but nonetheless, initially rocked my world. I have known for a while that something was unusual with Mattox. My gut told me so, but everyone around me seemed to chalk it up to him being 3. Finally, his teacher encouraged me to get him evaluated. That was all I needed. Someone who saw what I saw. I went into crazy parent mode. Ever been there? I knew getting an evaluation would be hard to get with the year coming to an end, and I needed to get him in for insurance purposes. I called the recommended place every day to get an appointment. Finally, she "squeezed me in." She tested his expressive and receptive language skills, among other things. He scored well above average (yes, my chin is high and I am proud....the numbers indicate he is very bright.) lol It was that therapist, who recommended getting an occupational evaluation. In early January, I got introduced to the world of sensory integration....a world I didn't even know existed. Finally, I had answers. We have a plan and we are working our plan, excited to see improvement (which we already have).
One of the things we are working on, is Mattox's ability to copy a picture, block structure, etc. His ability to look at something and copy it. Apparently this is a skill that crosses over into some one's ability to problem solve and assimilate properly into a social setting. Anyway, one day, as we were working on it in therapy, I found myself saying, "no Mattox, it goes there, buddy." The therapist finally said something that has had a profound effect on me. She said, "Lauren, it is important, even if you know that he is going to put it in the wrong place, to let him get it wrong. He needs to see the final product of his work." Sure enough, the next time he got it wrong, I didn't say anything immediately. Then I heard Mattox say, "Is that the same? Noooo. It's not. It's different." Then we asked him questions that prompted him to make the right changes.
Wow. What a lesson. How often, as parents, do we rush into our kids decision making, and stop them from making a bad decision. How often do we step in, when in reality, we should let them make a decision and actually get to see the outcome of their decision? If you are like me, probably not often. If you are like me, you have finished your kid's pictures because what they started looked nothing like a truck. Or, you wiped off the water paints because they kept mixing the colors, instead of letting them see what happens when colors are mixed. If you have older kids, you probably made note cards for them to study, because you knew they wouldn't do it themselves, and you didn't want them to fail... I think about how hard this is as a parent, to sit back and let your child make a mistake and analyze it for themselves. I pray, as my children grow, that I will let them make decisions that are both good and bad. I pray that I will instill in them, the values needed to determine if their decision was right or wrong. And I pray, that at the end of the day, they will be good decision makers. In the mean time, I am trying to remind myself that becoming a good decision maker takes practice....and that it isn't ALWAYS appropriate for me to rush in and make a decision for them. That's one thing I'VE learned in occupational therapy. :)
Probably the most interesting part of the month, was Mattox (my 3 year old) was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder. Luckily, it is pretty minor, but nonetheless, initially rocked my world. I have known for a while that something was unusual with Mattox. My gut told me so, but everyone around me seemed to chalk it up to him being 3. Finally, his teacher encouraged me to get him evaluated. That was all I needed. Someone who saw what I saw. I went into crazy parent mode. Ever been there? I knew getting an evaluation would be hard to get with the year coming to an end, and I needed to get him in for insurance purposes. I called the recommended place every day to get an appointment. Finally, she "squeezed me in." She tested his expressive and receptive language skills, among other things. He scored well above average (yes, my chin is high and I am proud....the numbers indicate he is very bright.) lol It was that therapist, who recommended getting an occupational evaluation. In early January, I got introduced to the world of sensory integration....a world I didn't even know existed. Finally, I had answers. We have a plan and we are working our plan, excited to see improvement (which we already have).
One of the things we are working on, is Mattox's ability to copy a picture, block structure, etc. His ability to look at something and copy it. Apparently this is a skill that crosses over into some one's ability to problem solve and assimilate properly into a social setting. Anyway, one day, as we were working on it in therapy, I found myself saying, "no Mattox, it goes there, buddy." The therapist finally said something that has had a profound effect on me. She said, "Lauren, it is important, even if you know that he is going to put it in the wrong place, to let him get it wrong. He needs to see the final product of his work." Sure enough, the next time he got it wrong, I didn't say anything immediately. Then I heard Mattox say, "Is that the same? Noooo. It's not. It's different." Then we asked him questions that prompted him to make the right changes.
Wow. What a lesson. How often, as parents, do we rush into our kids decision making, and stop them from making a bad decision. How often do we step in, when in reality, we should let them make a decision and actually get to see the outcome of their decision? If you are like me, probably not often. If you are like me, you have finished your kid's pictures because what they started looked nothing like a truck. Or, you wiped off the water paints because they kept mixing the colors, instead of letting them see what happens when colors are mixed. If you have older kids, you probably made note cards for them to study, because you knew they wouldn't do it themselves, and you didn't want them to fail... I think about how hard this is as a parent, to sit back and let your child make a mistake and analyze it for themselves. I pray, as my children grow, that I will let them make decisions that are both good and bad. I pray that I will instill in them, the values needed to determine if their decision was right or wrong. And I pray, that at the end of the day, they will be good decision makers. In the mean time, I am trying to remind myself that becoming a good decision maker takes practice....and that it isn't ALWAYS appropriate for me to rush in and make a decision for them. That's one thing I'VE learned in occupational therapy. :)
Friday, December 21, 2012
Christmas Cookies
I am trying to do more in the kitchen with the boys these days. I thought making cookies would be a good activity for us. You have heard me mention that I meet with a bunch of ladies every Thursday at a local church. A few weeks ago, we baked tons of cookies for an organization called, "Cookies for Cancer." It was a lot of fun, so I figured I would let the boys in on it. It was messy, but Sam really got into it. I was surprised at how quickly he picked up on using the cookie cutters, etc. Sprinkles were a huge hit, and as you can see, in the pictures, they were very tasty. I forgot to do a picture of the final product. However, today after nap time, we are doing this again. This time Paw Paw is coming over to help.
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| Mattox rolling dough, while Sam throws as much flour on the floor as possible. |
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| Sam couldn't help but snag a few pieces of cookie dough. The evidence is on his face. So cute. |
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| Alas, we decorated with sprinkles. We even brought out the sprinkles from Easter that I we never used on anything. Who says snowmen and ginger bread men don't wear pink and purple? :) The boys are digging the leftovers. |
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Painter's Tape City
This provided hours of fun for my boys. During naptime, I put this together in hopes of having a peaceful afternoon. I wanted to be able to prepare dinner in peace. THIS DID THE TRICK. If you have painter's tape, a few cars, and in this case, some really cool blocks to create a city, you are good to go.
First, sweep the floor. Second, use the painter's tape to create roads. If you have blocks, you can use them for buildings. I didn't do this, but you could also use little animal figurines. Maybe make a zoo...just an idea.
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| Here, Mattox is very focused on having one car yield to the other. We take traffic laws very serious in this house. :) |
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Here, we talked about slowing down in a school zone. If the bus stops, all the other cars have to stop, so the kids can get off safely. Not sure why, but my son is very big on safety. We also covered the pedestrian crossing sign. Again, cars must slow down and stop to let people cross the street safely.
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This is the overhead shot of the city. Yes, the blue blob is my attempt at making a park with a lake. It's obvious, I am no city planner.
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Give this one a shot. If you have any other ideas to make this more fun, send them my way. I will be doing this frequently. Good Luck!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Perception. Reality?
Every Thursday, I meet with a group of ladies at a local church. Everyone has such different personalities and bring a variety of talents to the table. It is a time to learn, grow, relax, and occasionally vent. One issue that keeps coming up in our group, is how we often compare our insides, to everyone else's outsides.
I think social media has totally aided in this terrible habit, we sometimes do, without thinking. As much as I love keeping up with my friends on Facebook, I can't help but sometimes compare what I am doing, to what they appear to be doing. It seems like so many moms have their act together. Their kids are always dressed so nicely, doing crafts that never seem to get messy, and have their house so nicely decorated, with everything in it's place. In their pictures, they seem to have finished a daily workout, showered, and put on makeup. In the background, there is no sign of clutter in their home...and to top it off, their dog is nicely sitting on it's bed, content with chewing on a bone. I am sure their organic, preservative free dinner is already made...and it's only 10am.
As I take all this in, I can't help but feel insecure. Am I doing this stay at home mom thing, right? I do my best to send my 3 year old to school, wearing cute clothes and combed hair. I understand the importance of him looking good, feeling good, and being able to hold his head high as he enters his little classroom. Hopefully, this day, he matches, and has a semi healthy lunch packed. But honestly, my pictures on Facebook show a different story. A story that goes like this. My kids are wearing hand me downs that are covered in oatmeal, because I let them feed themselves. On the occasion they miss their mouth, Summer the dog is more than happy to help with clean up. Sometimes she even aids in cleaning their hands for them. Laundry is everywhere, because my washer and dryer is in the kitchen. Some of the clean clothes are folded, the others were folded, then taken out by my 1 year old that thought it would be fun to take them out, and throw them back in with one of his new found sound effects. I certainly haven't showered OR put on makeup. I am lucky to do that at a stoplight on the way to preschool. As I back out of the driveway, I notice my yard, full of leaves, although the trash men just took away 6 trash bags full of leaves from last week. My car is a WRECK. Why? I have extra juice boxes, diapers, wipes, jackets, toys, and hand sanitizer. I also have multiple crafts that came home from preschool, laying in my front seat. They've yet to make it into the house, nicely put away in their proper location. Did I mention that it's December, and my house isn't decorated for Christmas as well as others'. You can forget about getting organized enough to send out a Christmas card. There is a lot to feel insecure about, as I look at pictures. However, the other day, I was thinking....I DO have some victories as a stay at home mom.
For example, my kids may be at the kitchen table with bed head, but my 1 year old is the 1st one to fold his hands for the blessing. My son lost his toy Goofy and told me, "I can call God and Jesus, and they will help me find him." My son asks me each morning if I will snuggle with him. My other son gives me huge, wide open mouth kisses almost every time I ask.
I also have victories that aren't so easy to blog about. For example, the other night, my son was acting TERRIBLE. In the moment, I was angry, but took a second away from him, and realized he was just exhausted. He didn't need to be punished, he needed sleep. So, instead of taking toys away or spanking him, I just laid down as he was sobbing. I told him he was such a good boy, and that I was going to lay with him for a few mins. He was asleep shortly after. I came to bed, thanking God he gave me the discernment to not act out some of the thoughts I had, but instead, to offer grace in that moment. Maybe my victories as a mom aren't ones you can photograph and post on Facebook. Maybe I'm doing a decent job, even if my kid's clothes aren't new and their hair isn't perfect. In fact, perhaps I am giving them security in the fact that they are loved, even if they aren't perfect. I hope so. I hope they are learning to be confident in the love they have in me, Chris, and ultimately, Christ. I hope they are learning not to judge others by what they look like, what abilities/disabilities they have, or what house they live in. As I am convicted of comparing my insides to other people's outsides, I think of these 2 scriptures and hope that I am modeling values that will result in eternal glory.
Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
I think social media has totally aided in this terrible habit, we sometimes do, without thinking. As much as I love keeping up with my friends on Facebook, I can't help but sometimes compare what I am doing, to what they appear to be doing. It seems like so many moms have their act together. Their kids are always dressed so nicely, doing crafts that never seem to get messy, and have their house so nicely decorated, with everything in it's place. In their pictures, they seem to have finished a daily workout, showered, and put on makeup. In the background, there is no sign of clutter in their home...and to top it off, their dog is nicely sitting on it's bed, content with chewing on a bone. I am sure their organic, preservative free dinner is already made...and it's only 10am.
As I take all this in, I can't help but feel insecure. Am I doing this stay at home mom thing, right? I do my best to send my 3 year old to school, wearing cute clothes and combed hair. I understand the importance of him looking good, feeling good, and being able to hold his head high as he enters his little classroom. Hopefully, this day, he matches, and has a semi healthy lunch packed. But honestly, my pictures on Facebook show a different story. A story that goes like this. My kids are wearing hand me downs that are covered in oatmeal, because I let them feed themselves. On the occasion they miss their mouth, Summer the dog is more than happy to help with clean up. Sometimes she even aids in cleaning their hands for them. Laundry is everywhere, because my washer and dryer is in the kitchen. Some of the clean clothes are folded, the others were folded, then taken out by my 1 year old that thought it would be fun to take them out, and throw them back in with one of his new found sound effects. I certainly haven't showered OR put on makeup. I am lucky to do that at a stoplight on the way to preschool. As I back out of the driveway, I notice my yard, full of leaves, although the trash men just took away 6 trash bags full of leaves from last week. My car is a WRECK. Why? I have extra juice boxes, diapers, wipes, jackets, toys, and hand sanitizer. I also have multiple crafts that came home from preschool, laying in my front seat. They've yet to make it into the house, nicely put away in their proper location. Did I mention that it's December, and my house isn't decorated for Christmas as well as others'. You can forget about getting organized enough to send out a Christmas card. There is a lot to feel insecure about, as I look at pictures. However, the other day, I was thinking....I DO have some victories as a stay at home mom.
For example, my kids may be at the kitchen table with bed head, but my 1 year old is the 1st one to fold his hands for the blessing. My son lost his toy Goofy and told me, "I can call God and Jesus, and they will help me find him." My son asks me each morning if I will snuggle with him. My other son gives me huge, wide open mouth kisses almost every time I ask.
I also have victories that aren't so easy to blog about. For example, the other night, my son was acting TERRIBLE. In the moment, I was angry, but took a second away from him, and realized he was just exhausted. He didn't need to be punished, he needed sleep. So, instead of taking toys away or spanking him, I just laid down as he was sobbing. I told him he was such a good boy, and that I was going to lay with him for a few mins. He was asleep shortly after. I came to bed, thanking God he gave me the discernment to not act out some of the thoughts I had, but instead, to offer grace in that moment. Maybe my victories as a mom aren't ones you can photograph and post on Facebook. Maybe I'm doing a decent job, even if my kid's clothes aren't new and their hair isn't perfect. In fact, perhaps I am giving them security in the fact that they are loved, even if they aren't perfect. I hope so. I hope they are learning to be confident in the love they have in me, Chris, and ultimately, Christ. I hope they are learning not to judge others by what they look like, what abilities/disabilities they have, or what house they live in. As I am convicted of comparing my insides to other people's outsides, I think of these 2 scriptures and hope that I am modeling values that will result in eternal glory.
Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Painting with cars
If you know my boys, you know they love cars. They love trucks and anything that goes. However, they aren't big on paint, coloring, or anything like that. So, to incorporate both, I thought it would be fun to dip wheels in paint, and roll them around on paper. This was easy and fun. The clean up was easy too. This was my kind of project. This winter, I will probably do this again. Next time, I will tape large sheets of paper down on the floor, and do a much larger version of this. Give it a try with your kids.
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| Just tape down paper on a table, let them pick out different cars, and put paint on paper plates. |
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| Here we reinforce red and yellow makes orange. We have gone over this a million times since Halloween. |
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| Final product. |
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
A Missed Opportunity
This past Sunday, my church started a series called, "Justice." It is a 5 week series covering world issues that we (us living in the US) tend to ignore. Sunday afternoon, I sat with a group of friends, discussing the 1st week's sermon on orphan care. You could tell that everyone, at some point in the discussion, was overwhelmed by the problem....and also overwhelmed with how to reach out and help. I was also overwhelmed. However, I started to think, 'what if I just took the opportunities that came my way to make a difference. Not just with orphans, but with everyone.'
Suddenly, my thoughts went back to 2 weeks ago. My husband and I had been invited to go to the South Carolina v Tennessee football game at USC. The people that invited us, got us the tickets, set up the tail gate, and did everything. All we had to do was get a babysitter and show up. It was such a treat.
I won't go into the details of the game, but Tennessee lost...and it was time to go home. We headed back to the tailgate, in order to let the crowd thin and stuff our faces with more food. About an hour later, it was time to go. We were given 2 loafs of spice/pumpkin bread for the road. It was SO good. A separate loaf had been on the table at the tailgate, and I probably ate 4 pieces. Needless to say, I was pretty excited. I didn't need the extra calories, but it was really good, and I pictured myself munching on it till it was gone. Yumm.
We had decided to give one loaf to Chris's mom for keeping our boys. That was fine with me, as long as I got at least one of them. However, as we were walking to our car, there were 2 men walking towards the stadium. One man was pushing a shopping cart, full of cans and bottles. The other, looked a little less healthy, and possibly had some mental illness. I could tell he was in need. I heard a voice say, 'give him the bread.' I wanted to, but we had already decided to give one to Chris's mom...and if I gave away the other loaf, there wouldn't be any left for me. So, I ignored that still soft nudge to give him the bread. I kept walking, and almost immediately, I knew I had made the wrong decision.
Could I really be this selfish? I had probably eaten more in the past 5 hours than he had all week long. Yet, I just kept walking, trying not to feel guilty. It didn't work. In fact, I have felt terrible about it for a while now. I just wish I could go back and have a re-do. Know what I mean? In the grand scheme of things, is it THAT big of a deal. I think the answer is, yes. My mind keeps going back to Matthew 25:45. "Truly, I say to you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."
I did finish the bread. I finished it this morning actually. I wish I could find those 2 men, and change my decision. I can't. All I can do, is pray that my actions will be different next time. That I will learn to be less selfish and more of a generous giver. And the next time I hear that soft voice saying, 'GIVE,' that no matter what, I do it...and with a generous heart.
Suddenly, my thoughts went back to 2 weeks ago. My husband and I had been invited to go to the South Carolina v Tennessee football game at USC. The people that invited us, got us the tickets, set up the tail gate, and did everything. All we had to do was get a babysitter and show up. It was such a treat.
I won't go into the details of the game, but Tennessee lost...and it was time to go home. We headed back to the tailgate, in order to let the crowd thin and stuff our faces with more food. About an hour later, it was time to go. We were given 2 loafs of spice/pumpkin bread for the road. It was SO good. A separate loaf had been on the table at the tailgate, and I probably ate 4 pieces. Needless to say, I was pretty excited. I didn't need the extra calories, but it was really good, and I pictured myself munching on it till it was gone. Yumm.
We had decided to give one loaf to Chris's mom for keeping our boys. That was fine with me, as long as I got at least one of them. However, as we were walking to our car, there were 2 men walking towards the stadium. One man was pushing a shopping cart, full of cans and bottles. The other, looked a little less healthy, and possibly had some mental illness. I could tell he was in need. I heard a voice say, 'give him the bread.' I wanted to, but we had already decided to give one to Chris's mom...and if I gave away the other loaf, there wouldn't be any left for me. So, I ignored that still soft nudge to give him the bread. I kept walking, and almost immediately, I knew I had made the wrong decision.
Could I really be this selfish? I had probably eaten more in the past 5 hours than he had all week long. Yet, I just kept walking, trying not to feel guilty. It didn't work. In fact, I have felt terrible about it for a while now. I just wish I could go back and have a re-do. Know what I mean? In the grand scheme of things, is it THAT big of a deal. I think the answer is, yes. My mind keeps going back to Matthew 25:45. "Truly, I say to you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."
I did finish the bread. I finished it this morning actually. I wish I could find those 2 men, and change my decision. I can't. All I can do, is pray that my actions will be different next time. That I will learn to be less selfish and more of a generous giver. And the next time I hear that soft voice saying, 'GIVE,' that no matter what, I do it...and with a generous heart.
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