It has been a while since I have written. I have been good about writing a note to my kids on their birthdays, but this blog use to be a place where I wrote about things God was showing me on a regular basis. It use to be a fun place to express how God was loving on me in a very personal way, and molding me into His likeliness. As a stay at home mom, this blog was a very fun and creative outlet for me as I survived the early years of having 2 babies.
A few years ago, some things happened in our marriage that were hard. The struggle was very real, and although, He was moving mountains and honoring our decision to fight for each other, I couldn't write about it. Our broken marriage tainted the way I saw everything and I simply couldn't write about what God was doing in my life, how He was restoring our marriage, without going into personal details.
Hard times change the lens by which we look at the world. Hard times seem like they will never end, and just when you begin to see the light, sometimes, there are setbacks. Hard times keep us in constant communication with the Lord, but sometimes those conversations are very raw. Sometimes we are begging Him to follow OUR plan and not HIS. Sometimes, hard times end up giving us an amazing testimony that offers others freedom. Hard times refine us and strengthen us. However, they are sometimes dark times where you feel alone and unable to be transparent.
Yesterday, it was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining and it was hot. I was playing on the driveway with my 1 year old who is obsessed with his pointer finger and birds. He loves to point out each bird he sees to me. So, there I was, birdwatching with my baby, and saw something I had seen several times in my life. I saw a big cloud, covering the sun. Because of the cloud coverage, I could see the perfect circle in this sky, giving off light. The light was completely contained in that circle. I am sure you have seen something similar at one point or another. It was really neat. As I was looking at the sun, through the clouds, I was reminded that often times it is through our hard times and dark clouds, that we see the Son most clearly. It is often during our struggles and doubts, that God reveals Himself most clearly. Often, it is during our hard times, that God is able to reveal himself to others as well. Hard times gives us compassion, and allows us to point others to Christ. I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-11, where Paul says,
My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
My marriage hasn't always been strong. It is stronger now. We showed up weak...He made us strong...and is continuing to write our love story.
