Happy 4th Birthday Mattox

Mattox,
       We have had such an awesome 4 years. I never thought that God would give me such a unique, sweet, funny, train loving son. Oh how you love trains! I have had so much fun learning about trains with you. I never really paid attention to them until you became fixated on them, and now I am a bit obsessed with them too. Trains ARE really cool and I love that there is something that brings you so much joy.
       Over the past 4 years I have watched you grow so much. You continue to amaze me with how easy it is for you to LOVE. You continually hug, kiss, encourage, cheer, and embrace those around you. I love that about you. Often, you remind me how uplifting a kind word can be to someone by telling me that I am doing a good job at something mundane. It's odd, but it really does make me feel good. I know that will go away after you get a bit older, but for now, I will cherish all the kind words you offer me during the day.
       You did great at preschool this year. You loved your teachers and your best friends were Alex and Zoey, both very pretty girls. You also liked Sammy because he always played trains with you. You currently take gymnastics. You are getting better and better every month. About a week ago, you learned how to swim. You finally got the idea of coming up to take a breath, and going back under. Now you can swim the width of the pool. I am impressed!
      I feel like 4 is the perfect age. I joke with you all the time about staying little forever. You love to joke back and say, "NO! It's just NOT going to happen. I will NOT stay little forever...NO WAY!" Mattox, you will never know the love I have for you. I can't put into words how amazing it is to be a mom to such an awesome kid. I pray that you will come to know God at an early age, and be bold in His ways. I pray that you will learn to submit yourself to Him and resist the devil. I pray that you will learn to live daily in His grace. I pray that dad and I can be good role models for you. That we will be clear in teaching your right and wrong, and that we will model how to love the Lord with all our hearts, souls, and minds.
       Happy Birthday sweet sweet boy. I am SO VERY PROUD of you, and feel so blessed the Lord gave us to each other. 

Handsome little guy.

Rocking the baseball hat.

I love this picture. This green train goes everywhere with Mattox.

Father's Day 2013

       I will never forget a conversation I had with a girl after one of my psychology classes in college. During class we covered the important roles parent's play and discussed several controversial subjects. As usual, I spoke bluntly about my beliefs on those subjects, most of which were not popular at all. After class, a one of my class mates thanked me for putting myself out there. We started talking and she shared with me that she always wanted to be an attorney, but she never had the confidence to take law classes. She shared with me that her dad told her, the only way she would win a case, was if someone got sick of hearing her talk so much, and just gave up. I could tell that comment her dad made had crushed her. I felt so bad for her...
       Another time, I was in Indiana training for my new job with Eli Lilly. On the way home, all of my collegues rode on the bus to the airport. I was listening to a weeks worth of messages, when I got ANOTHER call from my dad. (He calls me all the time) Again, he just wanted to tell me how proud he was of me, and that he just wanted to let me know how much he loves me. For some reason, I had it playing quietly on speaker phone and my friend, Chris, heard it. Chris came from an EXTREMELY wealthy family, who sent him to private boarding school his whole life, and only really saw him when they went on extravagant vacations together as a family. He didn't really need to work, but he was trying to keep himself busy and become his own man. He asked me to play the message again. I just laughed it off and said, "my dad calls me all the time like this...he is crazy." Chris said, "OMG, I am not sure what I would do if I ever heard my dad say he was proud of me and loved me. I seriously wouldn't know how to act."
       I don't take my dad for granted. He isn't perfect, that's for sure. I get annoyed at how impatient he is and his lack of healthy lifestyle, but at the end of the day, I am 100% confident in his love for me. I feel like my dad has been such a good role model for me. He is strong, but isn't too proud to show when he is struggling. He has always been very transparent and upfront with our family when times were good and not as good. He was honest and never said he was going to do one thing, and then did something else. He is dependable. He is someone I could always count on as a kid...and even now. He is encouraging
. When I doubted myself as an athlete, he gave me what I needed to keep going. He and my mom were fair. They gave me a LOT as a kid, but also expected me to appreciate it, and I did.
       I believe a my dad made it easy for me to follow my desire to give my life to my heavenly Father. If I can depend on a not perfect Earthly father, how much more can I depend on my perfect Father above? I made that connection at an early age and I hope my dad gets some credit for that in heaven. I am truly lucky to have a dad that taught me how to pray and took us to church every Sunday (of course my mom gets credit for this too). I am lucky to have a dad that always taught me I could become whatever I want, even a professional football player. I actually asked him if I could become that when I was little...and he said I could, but I would probably have to be a kicker. LOL I am lucky to have a dad who never tore down my dreams, no matter how crazy they sounded at the time. My dad has always been my biggest cheerleader, and going through this life, it's not bad to have someone like him in your corner. I am so lucky. I love you dad. Thanks for being my rock and for being such an awesome pawpaw to my boys! Happy Father's Day!

...and then he turned 2.

 Sam,
      I can't believe we just celebrated your 2nd birthday. This year we have had so much fun together. I can't believe how much joy you have brought into my life. You are one very special little boy. I feel like this year I have really gotten to know your personality. We finally got tubes in your ears, so you have been much healthier this year and overall, much happier. You are so different than Mattox. I never would have thought that I would have two boys with such different personalities. I am blessed because you both bring so much to the table. In some ways, you are more easy going than Mattox. I can take you anywhere and you seem to be happy. However, you know exactly what you want, and if you don't get it....watch out. You are constantly on the move. You will sit and watch a tv show and read a book with me, but you are always going from one activity to the next. You are into everything! You are very good at watching what is going on and then trying to do it for yourself. You are a determined little boy. I love that about you. I also love how you make me laugh. You make me laugh SO hard. You are always being silly and you constantly remind me to lighten up and have a good time. Your smile is so amazing. It lights up a room. You also make this smile when you get a little shy that is SO ADORABLE. Everyone loves it. Sometimes when we are in the car I say, "Sam, look at me." You will look in my rear view mirror and I say, "I love you." You immediately do your shy smile and look up and out the window. I love when you do that. I wouldn't say you are shy, but you are very selective when it comes to whom you will pay attention. For example, when we are at the grocery store, women always come try to talk to you, but you usually give them a nasty look. However, there is a preschool teacher that we pass every morning on the way to Mattox's class. We don't know her, but you stop every day to say hi. You picked her out of a crowded hallway and have said hi to her every day since. Also, while at Dollywood, you grabbed an old man's hand and pulled him around for a while. Again, we had no clue who he was, but you really liked him for some reason.
        You are just starting to talk. You have been right on target, and even ahead for most of your development, with the exception of talking. I was starting to get worried you weren't going to talk, because all you did was point and grunt. Over the past few weeks you have really come along. You are putting several words together. It is so cute to hear you talk because your voice is so high and you are so big. Your laugh is also really high and is one of the funniest laughs I have ever heard.
      Sam, you are smart, funny, handsome, and very very cool. I can't express into words the love I have for you. You own my heart. I am so thankful for the past 2 years. Thanks for all the laughter you have given me, and all the lessons you have taught me. I love you more than you will EVER KNOW. Happy Birthday!
 Love, Mom

Sam dressed for Halloween

Mr. Blue Eyes

Snack Time

All business.

Growing up quickly.